apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
