i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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