I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
