Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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