I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
