all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being pregnant is like rehab
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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