its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
