i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
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Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
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We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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