So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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