so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
