i think my mom watched the whole time
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
