its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
