When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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