looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
