no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
