It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
last night I used snow as a chaser
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