Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
