That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
