Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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