Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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