Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
