i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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