A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
