i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
