She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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