Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
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