Moan for me like Helen Keller
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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