Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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