Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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