and you said cock pushups were impossible
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
