Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
