I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
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Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
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Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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