chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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