the room spins SO much faster in panama
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
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I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
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be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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