would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
and you fell through a lawn chair
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
