You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
this is an emotional support booty call
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
