Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We named our party play list daddy issues
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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