im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
