Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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