Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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