you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
