For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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