you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
