i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I will pee on everything he values.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
