you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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