this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
