Im at strip club and am horny
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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