If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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