Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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