so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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