im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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