just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
