Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
what is it with giant penises always finding me
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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