i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
