quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
