You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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