Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize