he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
