The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
