Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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