"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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