$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
