I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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