i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize