HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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