that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
